Latest Newsletter

This is the latest newsletter about what is happening in my life in Hamilton. I hope it works! Many of you will be receiving it via email or snail mail in the very near future but I figured I would post it here for people to have a look at.

september-2007-newsletter.pdf

Reflections from the Laundromat

Do you ever feel like life is moving much too quickly? Lately I’ve been feeling like life is moving so quickly it’s hard to even grasp at the various emotions, experiences and thoughts I’m having. This morning during staff meeting I realized that while I felt good (I had lots of energy, was generally happy, was actually able to drag myself out of bed to spend time reading my Bible) there was a lot going on in my brain that I hadn’t really given enough power to. My brain feels like it’s been on overdrive lately. All these thoughts around community, justice, identity and what it actually means to follow Christ. I’ve been reading Philippians and it’s pretty amazing… but I get way more out of it when I can talk about it with other people. I miss IV manuscript studies.

I realized this weekend that while I am making friends here and definitely beginning to have an active social life, I still don’t have people that I can really confide in. Dan is awesome and I bounce things off of him a lot but I’m also still trying to find a healthy balance in that relationship so that I don’t nurture an unhealthy amount of intimacy. Then I haven’t met with Alison for awhile… but we’re meeting on Thursday which I’m pretty excited about. I am just all over the place in terms of where my community is and what that even looks like. I am ridiculously jealous of Timmy, Steve, Adam and Keith who have just moved into an intense ‘army (or boot camp if army makes you uncomfortable) for Jesus’ community house just outside of our neighbourhood.

Sunday evening I went to Church in the Box at Redeemer. It was a really good time of being able to praise God without having any sort of responsibility attached to it. There were no children to distract me and it was glorious. The speaker had a good message… He related his talk to a passage from Philippians and I wish he had addressed some of the issues in the text better but his message was good. Afterwards I had a really interesting conversation with Jason that led me to think about a lot of things in my life… he made the comment that things that are easy are normally not what God wants from us… I’m not even sure if I can articulate why that struck me but it is still haunting me… it may be because I’m trying to figure out what comes next in this crazy journey of mine and realizing that I’m getting somewhat passive in life.

I also realized this morning that I’m feeling really discouraged about work. I’m not sure I think that I’m actually making any sort of difference or that I’m actually connected with anyone’s life. It’s stupid and insecure but I see how the girls connect with the summer students and how they get so excited when they come back to visit and I get discouraged. What am I really doing here?

All that to say… Tracy’s head is messed up. On top of that, however, I seem to be taking on more tasks at church that aren’t necessarily related to children or families. I knew that would happen this year… I guess now I’m just trying to figure out what it means. Jesus, just hit me over the head with it already. Alright, time to read… and attempt to figure out this crazy life.

Beauty: A Changing Perspective

I think it was on Montreal’s St. Catherine Street in one of the many trendy boutiques. Surrounded by images of what the world says is beautiful I realized that I really didn’t find that attractive. Could it be that my concept of beauty is actually changing? I spend a lot of time telling the girls I work with that God thinks they are beautiful… regardless of what the world says about them… and I’ve always firmly believed that… but could it be that God is teaching me to see beauty in the way He does. As I thought about it I realized that the people in my life I would refer to as beautiful are not necessarily ones that the world would crown the most physically attractive. Generally it is more something in their spirit that attracts me… a quality that you can’t quite but your finger on but shines through brightly and draws you towards that person. Could it be that I’m actually beginning to see the Spirit of God in people as beauty?

As much as I’d like to stand before you today and tell you that I have been converted… and that I am completely unaffected by the world’s messed-up standards of beauty… that would be a lie. I am simply someone who is unwilling to accept the lie that the right clothes and the right make-up will make me beautiful. How that gets lived out in day to day life is more difficult. It is still hard for me to look in the mirror and call myself beautiful. The closest I get is to remind myself that while I think I look horrible that day, God finds me breath-taking. So I’m praying that God continues to do whatever it is He’s doing with my concepts of beauty because I’d really like to see myself (and others) with His eyes. It’s interesting that it’s so much easier for me to see beauty in others than it is in myself.

And to think I saw it on Cannon Street

I awoke this morning to the idea of walking to work… something I’ve been trying to do more of to both save on gas and get some physical activity. It’s about a 20 minute walk and I do tend to see strange things from time to time… but this morning will stand out in my memory for a long time. I was walking past a bunch of houses near the half-way point of my journey when I heard gunshots. Now, it was very obvious these were not real gunshots but possibly coming from some sort of cap gun or even just a children’s toy. I look up and in an upstairs window there is a young boy (who definitely should’ve been in school) pointing a gun at me. I think he may have said something as well but I was too completely overwhelmed by the sight of this small child firing a gun out his window to actually comprehend it. It was surreal.

The rest of the day was pretty swell. I got to see my cousin play basketball in a tournament here. Her team won… the other team wasn’t so good at the whole ‘getting the ball in the basket’ thing. Then I made dinner… but my oven takes three times as long as it is supposed to so I ended up eating something else and I’ll just freeze what I made tonight for another time. The highlight of my evening so far… I tried to make a peanut butter cookie in the microwave… and it actually kind of worked. I have such an exciting life, I know!

Brian Melo = Canadian Idol

The votes are in and I agree with Canada… Brian Melo is the newest Canadian Idol. I truly wasn’t sure how I would feel about it but at the end of last night’s show I was excited that our Hamilton friend came out on top. He continually demonstrates this humility that I really believe comes from growing up here. Hamilton, as a city, is so proud of him and it’s important for us to have something to feel good about. I think one of the things that I love so much is the picture he gives to the kids I work with. Many of them have been cheering him on from the very beginning… claiming that their cousin’s girlfriend’s roommate is dating his brother or whatever the case may be. I’m not normally big on the whole ‘you can be anything you want to be’ garbage we tell kids but this does speak a message to kids that if they have a dream they should pursue it and that they CAN achieve it, regardless of where they come from or what their story is. That is the beauty of Brian Melo… well that and he’s just so darn cute… the boy can sing too! Anyway, it’s a good day to be a Hamiltonian and I hope Brian knows how proud of him the city is.

… and that ends my rant about Canadian Idol. I promise to post something of substance later this week.

Taking my Obsession to the Next Level

Last night during Canadian Idol I took my obsession with Brian Melo to the next level. For those of you who are less aware, Brian grew up in East Hamilton. He went to high school in our neighbourhood and spent many days at the Kiwanis Boys and Girls Club east of here. I love him because he is really someone that Hamilton can be proud of (and we need that as a city). He can sing… last night was amazing… but he’s got this underlying humility that comes from growing up here. Anyway, last night I took all of this to the next level and actually voted for him. Until now I have always been a spectator in this whole Idol experience… last night I participate for the first time. I am becoming my mother!

Tonight is the finale. We’ll spend two hours watching a bunch of singers perform while CTV squeezes in as many commercials as possible before they announce the winner. A wise friend told me that it’s probably better for Brian if he doesn’t win… he’s getting a record deal regardless by this point and then he wouldn’t be tied into the contract that Idol gives him… but I realize how important it would be for Hamilton to have him win… so I’m torn. I probably won’t know until tonight when I see the results.

Ottawa and Montreal

Alright, for all of you who have been eagerly awaiting my return, sitting on the edge of your seats to hear about my vacation this is your lucky moment. I have much to blog about regarding my trip but I think I am going to try and break it up into a couple of days of blogging. This will be the overview of my trip.

All in all it was a great time. It was nice to be out of the city for awhile (although I missed it too). I really enjoyed the city of Ottawa… it’s nice and there is lots to do! We saw the Parliament Buildings and the cat sanctuary – I have some sweet pictures of the raccoons there. We spent a lot of time just walking around downtown and in the ByWard Market. I bought a couple of things for people but ended up spending most of my ‘extra’ money on parking!

I was sick for the first two days of vacation which didn’t make things very nice. All I wanted to do was sleep but I pushed through the Museum of Civilization and the National Art Gallery. The Civilization Museum was awesome. They had some really neat exhibits and I learned a lot about Canada. I kept being reminded all week of how horrible my high school history teacher was and how little I know of Canadian history. The art gallery was okay. We were disappointed by the photography exhibit which is what we really wanted to see but the exhibit on the Group of Seven made up for it.

Wednesday we went to the Museum of Science and Tech. It was pretty cool and we had our own private show about Cyrogenics… at least until the small children came about half way through. We also visited the Royal Canadian Mint and learned about how they make coins in our country. Can you believe that after our tour we didn’t get a stinking thing? I mean when you go on a factory tour you normally get something… disappointing!

Montreal was okay. It was definitely not my favourite part of the vacation. Lots of French being spoken all around us but we always managed to find someone that spoke English with ease. We stayed in a really cute hotel downtown and just did a lot of walking around. We saw a lot of the city and went for dinner at this HUGE pasta restaurant where I attempted to eat cheese for the first time since being sick. I ordered a lasagna that I could only eat about 1/4 of. We ended up splitting it for lunch the next day and still not finishing it.

The highlight of Montreal was definitely the Bio-Dome. Such a cool place! We got to see the tropical forest and penguins in the arctic/antarctic display.

Then it was back to Ottawa. We spent the weekend hanging out with some of Sanda’s camp friends. We hit up the War Museum and Laurier House where we learned about Sir Wilfred Laurier and William Lyon Mackenzie King. Our tour guide was amazing so that added to the enjoyment of that.

Oh, and Sunday we went to church and then had shawarma. Ottawa is like the shawarma capital of the world. Everywhere you look there is a shawarma place. I don’t understand. We had some though and it was okay.

Then we came home… that is the bare bones of our trip. I will attempt to post more throughout the week about the details. For now I need to clean my office!